not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
