Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
