He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
