so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
