You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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