My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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