I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
