heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
