Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize