is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
