its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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