And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize