i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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