I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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