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PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
