Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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