i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
