He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
