They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
