Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
