So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
