If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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