She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize
