My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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