that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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