It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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