Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
