Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
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