i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
In other news, I just burned my penis
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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