sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
