Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
