Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
