Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
