Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
