You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
