So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
