Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Randomize
