I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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