how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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