apparently the secret to your success is patron
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
