Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Randomize
