Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
