do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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