i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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