Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
