Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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