I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
ttyl tear gas
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
