go do what you do best...puke behind churches
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize