If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
