I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
