he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
