You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
