So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
