Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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