Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
