I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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