you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
